There are Manners to Correcting Others in our Deen

“Don’t be in such a hurry to condemn a person because he doesn’t do what you do or think as you think. There was a time when you didn’t know what you know today.”

-Malcolm X

Truly helping others by calling their attention to their mistakes is enjoined. But this does not mean you are perfect or should act like you are.

Correct the way you want to be corrected too. The practise of being harsh on others, publicly shaming them including on social media but forgiving towards yourself or people you like for same mistakes is bad. Bad for you, your chosen ones and the wider Ummah.

This toxicity in our circles is pushing people out of the deen. You watch, waiting for them to make mistakes and pounce on them. They start to lead double lives because of you. You should be afraid of being responsible for this.

If we truly want the best for them and not disgrace, let’s employ the manners from the Sunnah. And better still, make dua for them. Be patient, Prophet Nuh (AS) did not get everyone to listen even after centuries. So who are you to think the one you are correcting will change immediately? Also be more concerned about your own mistakes to save yourself from hypocrisy.

There is a book ‘The Prophet’s Methods of Correcting People’s Mistakes’.

May Allah help us all to obey Him and be of best character.

______________________

The Ramadhan Baby

TheRamadhanBaby #29 – Keep its Essence

The blessed month bids us farewell.

We can only hope to see it again.

While taking stock of our souls,

Will we find them enriched 

Or hovering around previous levels?

Will we last the many months 

Before another opportunity comes?

We should all regret the leaving 

For more pearls we did not gather

It is a matter of ease

To gain rewards all year long

With the goodness of this month

A little drop a day

TheRamadhanBaby #27- Keep Those Pearls Sparkling

Due to a change in eating habits, some find teeth care confusing. Should I brush before Sahur or after?

Because many also are eating late into the night, time for brushing gets blurry.

Our Prophet disliked people who ate onions and leeks (and other strong-smelling foods) into the mosque so as not to make others uncomfortable. This symbolizes how important oral hygiene is.

He loved the miswak , derived from a root of the Arak tree, used as a toothbrush regularly.

Avoid too much sugars and add more fruits and veg to your diet. 

Try hard to brush more than twice. Just don’t swallow toothpaste! Couple this with regular flossing and a mouthwash (remember, alcohol-free)

Push yourself to see a dentist.

So our smiles can be bright and our breaths fresh.

“The smell of the mouth of a fasting person is dearer to Allah than the smell of musk.” Hadith

Let us stop using this as an excuse to treat our teeth bad.

Remember, cleanliness is a huge part of our faith and the mouth is not exempted from this.

TheRamadhanBaby#26- Justice

Too many wrong things happen.  Much of the ill-will that pervades our environment is as a result of grievances sprouting from injustice.

 Oh you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even though it be against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, be he rich or poor, Allah is a better protector to both (than you). So follow not your lusts, lest you may avoid justice, and if you distort your witnesses or refuse to give it, verily, Allah is ever well acquainted with what you do.”

(Surah Nisa Q4: 135)

A peaceful world is not sustainable without fairness and justice. For our own good, we have to push for this.

Through charity, we try to correct society’s unfair distribution of wealth. Let this not stop in Ramadhan but be part of your daily Purpose.

If you have got real clout and power to change things, please do so.

If you can write or speak and move decision-makers , do so.

You can donate and fund positive impact.

You can sit, walk or run. You can fly.

Anything to improve the status quo.

If you are weak, at least reject it in your heart.

Just don’t sit on the fence, aloof, unconcerned.

TheRamadhanBaby #25- Remember Them

The world has always been a place where evil and violence exist but never before do events get witnessed by millions without being physically present. Thus it is difficult to ignore what is happening around the world.

Behind the statistics and headlines are people like you and me, most of whom just found themselves at the receiving end of evil.

Remember Nabra.

Remember the Grenfell Tower Fire victims.

The Portugal forest fire.

The China nursery attack.

The Bangladeshi landslide.

The refugees of generations, the ones at sea, the ones in camps.

The unjustly imprisoned.

The sick whether in hospital or on sick beds (or mats)

The orphans.

The victims of war and conflict.

Those affected by famine, drought, disasters(natural and man-made).

The citizens who under oppressive governments.

The women and girls trafficked as work or sex slaves.

The poor

The animals that suffer cruelty.

The nameless victims of all kinds of atrocities.

Remember all men, women and children who endure suffering and pain for no reason.

Think of them.

Be aware of going -ons around you.

Do what you can to help them.

Even if all you can do is pray.

For we are all siblings either of faith or humanity.

TheRamadhanBaby #24 – More than Not Eating

If  you fall into any of the categories exempted from fasting, it is very easy to fill disconnected. It is worse when the people around you are not understanding and they judge you for eating and drinking. Somehow, they make you feel less of a Muslim. But there are so many other  avenues to gaining reward. These would help you avoid wasting the whole month.

  • Focus on Allah as He is the One who truly understands.
  • Feed a fasting Muslim. It not only gives you immense reward but can be a Fidyah (if you absolutely can not fast)
  • Be patient especially if it is a pregnancy or a serious  medical condition. Remember that any difficult situation a believer experiences is a source of expiation of sin.
  • Make Dhikr your companion.There are too many easy words of remembrance that will increase your scale of good.
  • Join Iftar gatherings to feel that sense of community so rare outside this month.
  • Help prepare food for others.
  • Perform Tahajjud, make endless dua, seek the night of Al-Qadr, don’t miss Tarawih.
  • Sadaqah -Charity
  • Listen to sermons and learn from them. Make sure they are from sound scholars who use evidences from the Quran and Sunnah.
  • Have a healthy diet. It is not an excuse to engorge yourself.
  • Avoid anger, backbiting, foul and vulgar language.
  • Use the time till next Ramadhan to treat your condition and try to fast next time if it is safe to do so.

May Allah reward you as you strive to do your best at worship.

TheRamadhanBaby #23 -Be Gentle and Not Harsh

Getting through life today is tough with all the disturbances and frustrations. When it gets too much for us to handle though, some of us react by being harsh towards others. We lose our sense of gentleness.

However Allah wants us to take the nobler path, loves for us to be refined and not vulgar and would reward those who develop this trait.

“O Aisha, Allah is gentle and He loves gentleness. He rewards for gentleness what is not granted for harshness and He does not reward anything else like it.”

(Sahih Muslim 2593)

Our beloved Prophet (peace be upon him) even gives us another sweet reason to be gentle.

“You must be gentle. Verily, gentleness is not in anything except that it beautifies it, and it is not removed from anything except that it disgraces it.”

(Ahmad 24417)

Even if we get the worst treatment, we must strive to be gentle. This is very difficult but achievable. Allah appreciates our effort. Here, He enjoins Prophet Musa ( upon him be peace) to be gentle in dealing with the greatest tyrant of the time! -Pharaoh even though he was not receptive of Musa’s divine message.

Speak to him mildly that perhaps he may remember or fear Allah.

(Surat Ta Ha 20:44)

With gentleness, we diffuse volatile situations and avoid escalation. With it, we can save a suicidal person. With it , we can change people’s views for good. It is not a sign of our stupidity but a nearness to our Lord and a way to earn His reward.

Being firm does not involve being harsh.

References: http://www.abuaminaelias.com